Joy of Love (Day 3)

I'm participating in a free online class called The Joy of Love. The class requires that you take a picture of someone you love each day during the month of February. I just started today. I may go back and do the first two days another time. But I really wanted to start today. So here it is:

(Can I just say, the look in those eyes makes my heart beat a little faster. I am so in love with this man!)

The topic is "Then and Now." The "now" was taken this evening. The "then" is the last professional photo we've had taken of us, and it was taken one week after we got married (11.5 years ago!). *HA* time for a new pic to go on the mantle, huh? (I tried to position his head so I was hidden in the picture, because I hate that picture of me.)

The challenge was to get in "tight". Fill the frame.

Three Months Old

I can't believe this little sweety has been with us for three months already. I can't call her a newborn anymore. Waaaah! She is getting so big!

• She weighs about 12 lbs. She is in the 50% for weight and 25% for height.
  
• Her smile lights up the whole west coast.
• I'm getting really close to getting a laugh outta her. I can't wait to hear those giggles.
• She likes when her brother and sister play with her.
  
• She gives daddy one of her heart-melting smiles whenever she sees him.
• She likes to sleep snuggled between mommy and daddy. We put her down to sleep in her own bed and she sleeps for about 4-7 hours (it varies nightly) and then she's in bed with us for the rest of the night. She's a snuggler for sure.
  
• She doesn't have any kind of schedule. I'm hoping to change that soon!
• Mommy is her favorite person! She cries and screams if I go anywhere without her. (What can I say? I'm her food source.)
• She likes the sound of her own voice. Lots of screeching.
  

We love you little Miss Lu-Lu Bird.

Happy Birthday to Me (33)

Yep, I had another birthday (last Saturday). They just keep on coming! I can't stop them. LOL. I might try harder to stop them if they weren't so darned fun!

My grandma treated us to breakfast first thing in the morning. I *thought* about ordering something healthy...Nah! It's my birthday! If there's ever a day to splurge, it's your birthday, right? So I ordered berry-filled crepes with ham and eggs.
It was De.Lish.Us. Great way to start my birthday: Good company. Good food. Perfect. And our breakfast date ended with fireworks. Corbin knows how much I love fireworks on the 4th of July. He said he had a present for me and broke out with these fireworks so I immediately whipped out my camera so I would never forget my birthday fireworks. He's such a sweet kid.


After breakfast I got a little nap with my baby - one of my favorite things to do these days! She's so warm and cuddly.

Anyway, after that I went shopping at the mall with Venessa. Jason and his dad both gave me shopping money (and I'm still not done spending it *heehee*). I seriously needed that! When I was working, all my clothes were business-casual, after I quit I was wearing maternity clothes. I so badly needed new clothes.

After shopping, Venessa and James came over to our house for dinner and dessert. We ordered P.F. Changs (take-out):

(Isn't it gorgeous? So colorful and yummy! You can also see the pretty flowers Jason bought me. Awe.)

And then we made fondue in the new melting pot I got for Christmas. That was an inspired gift, I'll tell you what! I'm horrible at melting chocolate. I don't know why it's so hard for me. I always scorch it! This thing was so easy to use! And it was the perfect birthday treat!

I...Love...BIRTHDAYS!

I love having a day to celebrate one person. Holidays are fun and all, but I think it's even more fun to act like royalty for a day. It's the one day out of the year when I don't have to cook or clean for an entire 24 hours! I love it. I relish it!

Our "miracle" baby.

As soon as Tienna was born she was taken into a small room (within my delivery room) and examined by the NICU staff. She passed meconium in utero and they wanted to make sure she hadn't swallowed any. Jason went with her. (This isn't the miracle part).

While they were examining the baby (she was A-OK, by the way), the midwife asked me to give a couple more pushes in order to "birth" the placenta. (Gah! Really? I thought I was done pushing!)

After that was done, she examined the placenta, as usual, and discovered that we had a velamentous cord insertion. I had no idea what that meant, so she explained to me that the umbilical cord wasn't attached to the placenta in the normal spot. It was hanging on...barely. She said that it could have become disconnected during the birth, or if my water had broken at home, or any other time during my pregnancy...and we could have lost our sweet baby.

Usually this condition is discovered during the ultrasound mid-pregnancy. But Patricia had looked over my ultrasound records just that morning while she was waiting for me to arrive at the hospital and saw nothing.

I can't imagine if we had discovered it at my 20-week ultrasound. I would have been afraid to sneeze! I would have been terrified throughout the remainder of my pregnancy.

I know this may seem like a small miracle, compared to what a lot of people go through. But it was a big deal to me. This pregnancy seemed a little surreal. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have another little person in our house. I couldn't picture what it would be like. I freaked myself out, thinking that this meant something was going to happen to my baby. That something would go wrong and I wouldn't actually bring her home with me. (I know, I drive myself crazy.)

I am just so glad that everything went well. The day of Tienna's birth was so perfect. I cherish the memory of every single second of that day. Because I know that things could have been vastly different. With the smallest twist of fate, it could have been the worst day of my life.

I am so grateful for my sweet, healthy baby. She is perfect. In every way.

Tienna Lou's Birth Story

I hate that I haven't written this down yet. It was the most powerful experience I've ever had. I hate the thought of losing a single second of the memory. And yet I feel like I couldn't do it justice with my words.

Sigh.

I'll try my best.
(I don't have many pictures of myself this pregnancy, but here I am at 35 weeks.)

I was due on October 23. That day came and went. Each day drove me closer to the edge. I thought I would go crazy. I'm not a very patient person. And this was a very trying pregnancy! Some days I just cried. I hurt so bad! And I felt like my poor kids were missing out on so much because I didn't have it in me to take them out! Borderline depression.

The morning of Thursday, October 28 started just like every other day. I drove Jenalyn to school. Came home, sent Jason off to work. Corbin was on my computer while I watched Rachael Ray and folded laundry. On RR she was showing a segment about her friend Gretta's delivery of their son. She had to have a c-section and I cried for her. That has always been my biggest freak-out. I never want to be cut open wide and have my baby extracted like that. *YIKES*

During the show I was having some contractions - but then I'd been having annoying contractions for so long, I was trying to ignore them. But soon I thought they seemed a little more intense...and wow, they were coming more frequently! So I started timing them. Yep! Pretty sure this was it. So I called the midwife (Patricia). She told me to come on in. So I called Jason and told him to come home, called mom & dad to come stay with Corbin (they were in town playing the waiting game with us) and called Venessa and asked her to meet us at the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 9:45 (all times are approximate - I can't remember - I know, I should have written this sooner!). They got me settled into a delivery room and hooked me up to an IV with antibiotics for GBS (they like to get 2 doses in before the baby is delivered). When they checked me I was only dilated to 4cm. *ugh* As bad as those contrax hurt! Only a 4?!?! Sheesh!

Jason asked them to send up an anesthesiologist ASAP. But I said I would like to wait a little while, maybe sit in the tub and see how it goes. So I got into the tub and it actually really helped (I didn't like it when I was in labor with Jenalyn - didn't even try with Corbin). Soon, my contractions were coming so quickly and were so painful, I told Patricia that I didn't want to feel ANY MORE, so she could call anesthesiologist now. I was only partially coherent, but she said something about blood work (maybe because I was anemic), and something about getting in the other dose of antibiotics.

After a short time in the tub I remember the contractions being so close together that I didn't even open my eyes between them. I was in a zone. I could hear the people talking around me, but I wasn't responding. Then I remembered a friend telling me her experience with natural labor, and feeling incoherent during the final stages. So I asked Patricia to check for dilation again...after about 45 minutes since the last time we checked, I was 8+cm dilated! YOWSA!

I started feeling really really hot, so I got out of the tub and back into the bed. At this point, Patricia explained that if we called the anesthesiologist up, I would probably start feeling the urge to push while he was doing the interthecal, and the anesthetic probably wouldn't even kick-in in time for the delivery. So she asked Jason (since I was out of it) what he wanted to do. He said again, "Call up the anesthesiologist!" And I burst in and said NO! Lets just do this! Get this baby out! Just seconds later, I was pushing.

I couldn't believe the urge to push took over my entire body. Like I wasn't even controlling it at first. It was weird! I was on my back and I was horribly uncomfortable. Somehow I knew that the baby wasn't coming out at that angle. So I asked if I could get down on my knees (with my elbows resting on the bed). Of course, Patricia let me take the lead.

Once I got into that position, gripping Jason's hand with my left, and Venessa's hand with my right, pushing only lasted a couple minutes. Long, agonizing, screaming minutes! I've never considered myself a screamer, but yeah. I was pretty loud!

It was the strangest experience. Now I understand why you should prepare yourself for natural childbirth. I took a natural childbirth class when I was pregnant with Jenalyn ... 7 years ago! And I remembered very little.

I was soooo not prepared for this. It was so very painful. Pushing was painful. (I mean, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park, but man!) Yet I knew I had to push in order to get over this. So it was like I was fighting against myself. I had to force myself to do the one thing that could get me through it. *sopainful*

When she was finally out, I felt instant relief. I looked up at Venessa and said, "Don't ever do that!" Ha ha ha - I don't feel that way anymore.

It was an amazing experience. I felt very empowered. And, when I held my sweet Tienna for the first time, I felt a connection unlike anything I've ever felt. Like we had done this together. As if she had been through all that hard work and pain right along with me and she was the only other living person who knew what I just endured. Weird? Maybe.

Things of note:

• Three-hour labor! YAY ME!
• I could never do labor without my Jason. I'm pretty sure of this. Every time I felt a contraction coming on, my first instinct was to reach for him. Through the whole thing, I think there was only 2 or 3 contractions that he wasn't present for. He brings me more comfort than I can tell you.
  

• I have the best BFF in the world! She was amazing! When I had Jenalyn, we asked her to be there to video tape it. She has been at every birth since then, and she took on a new role with each one. This time she was more of a Doula. (I just read the "What is a Doula" section in that link, and yeah! That was definitely Venessa!) She brought her own little hospital bag which included socks for me, hair ties, heat patches...she was AH-MAZE-ING!

• I will never have a baby without a midwife. I felt so safe! I felt confident that my fate would not be the same as Gretta's. And I loved that she let me take the lead. She was so encouraging. At one point, I remember asking if I was doing it wrong! *LOL* she assured me that my body knew exactly what it needed to do, so I just needed to listen to my body.
• I was so very grateful my parents where in town. They picked Jenalyn up from school so she could be at the hospital too. The kids got to meet their new baby sister after she was just minutes old! And having them here to help out after the birth was invaluable! (and before the birth too! Sheesh, my house had been neglected far too long!)

More on our little miracle baby later. This post is getting too long!

New Year - 2011

We had such a fun New Years Eve celebration this year! It was just us. This was the first year since we got married, that we haven't spent New Years Eve with friends. But we had a GREAT time with just our little family!

When Jenalyn started hearing all the talk about New Years she asked, "Is that the holiday when we get to stay up until midnight?" heehee...YES! How exciting for a 7-year old, right? Corbin got to stay up too. Not Tienna though. She's too young *LOL*

So here's what we did.

We made M&M shakers for our midnight noisemakers:

We had some delicious snacks:

We watched Fantasia 2000. Then we toasted the New Year with sparkling cider:

Then I made the family pose with me for the first family photo (minus Tienna) of 2011:

After this picture was taken, my lovies got to go to bed while I headed out the door to serve breakfast to our ward's Youth after their New Years Eve dance. I didn't get home until after 3:00 because I stayed chatting with the YW presidnecy. Gosh, I love my calling!

And I love my family. I read thru some old blog posts with the kids yesterday. They had so much fun hearing their stories, seeing their pictures, and watching little videos! So I resolved to blog more this year. I hate that I've neglected to document so many memories because of my laziness!

So, about that 7-year old...

I decided to do a separate post to gush about what a good girl Jenalyn is.

She. Is. Amazing.

I didn't want that information to be put aside or skimmed over for the sake of looking at pictures of her super-fun party. She is sweet, tenderhearted, kind, grateful, loving, thoughtful, friendly, honest, responsible...and I could go on and on.

She tells me every day what a great mom I am. It doesn't matter if I'm having a grouchy day, or if I'm having a lazy-don't-want-to-move kind of day. (Trust me, I've had several loser-mom days during the last couple months of this pregnancy!) She always tells me I'm the best. And she never forgets me in her prayers. It makes me feel so loved.

When we were planning her party I told her she could only invite 8 friends. We have a small house, and not a huge budget. So she picked her 8 friends (and a handful of adults that she wanted to have here to help out *LOL*).

I told her before she went to church last Sunday, and again before she went to school on Monday, that she needed to be sensitive to those we were unable to invite. I explained that she probably shouldn't talk about her party because it might hurt other's feelings if they weren't invited. She understood and agreed.

Thursday, the day before her party, I picked her up from school and she asked me if we could invite A to her party. I explained that it was too late to invite more people, and then I got distracted with a conversation with Corbin. A few minutes later, she sniffled from the backseat and said, "Um, Mom, can I please tell you the whole story?" She then explained to me that her teacher mentioned in class that the next day would be Jenalyn's birthday and then Jenalyn accidentally let it slip about the party to A, who was sitting next to her. She said that A really really wanted to come to her party (by now Jenalyn is losing her battle against the tears, which breaks my heart) and she really didn't want to hurt A's feelings!

She is so sweet. She doesn't like making people feel bad.

I don't know if you noticed, but she only frosted half of her cake at the party. She did this because the frosting had milk in it and she wanted to be able to share her cake with Corbin. She is so very thoughtful.

She loves making people laugh! She's the life of the party. Her personality is larger than life! I caught a couple funny-face pictures of her at the party.
She thought it was hilarious that she was sitting on the couch with a cup full of frosting, eating from a plastic butter knife.

Showing off her muscles. She kept saying, "Look at these fat girls!" and then looked down at her muscles! *LOL* I have no idea where she got that from, but it made me laugh.

Anyway, if I were a 7-year old, I would totally want to be her friend. She is so much fun! I'm so happy to have her in my life! She makes life fun.

Jenalyn's birthday party.

Before I get too mushy-gushy over my sweet bug, I'll tell you about her birthday party. I fussed over what to do for the party for weeks! I couldn't think of anything (preggo-brain!). Finally, a week before her birthday I found an awesome blog post about a great party idea that seemed totally do-able. A CAKE PARTY! How fun!

I wanted to re-create every single little detail from that creative blog, and I had full intention of doing so, but my pregnancy discomforts limited my abilities. *sigh* But it was still a super fun party.

Here are pictures from the big party:
Each girl got her own cake to frost and decorate. I made EIGHT cakes (plus cupcakes) within 48 hours of this little party. Thank goodness for my KitchenAid mixer!

They got to take their cakes home to share with their families in their own, personalized cake box.

Here's the treat table. We had strawberry/marshmallow kabobs, oreos, cupcakes, and strawberry/kiwi juice with frozen strawberries for ice cubes.

Jenalyn's completed cake :) And her BFF from school. She and Sydney were in the same class in Kindergarten, but they have different teachers this year. They still eat breakfast together every morning and play together at recess.

This is Jenalyn and her BFF from preschool - I'm so glad we've managed to stay in touch over the past two years. They are still great friends, even though they go to different schools.

This is Jenalyn's BFF from church. She got to play with Katie a lot over the summer and she tells me all the time how much she loves her.

Jenalyn loves all of her friends so much. When I asked what her favorite part of her party was, she said "Having all my friends over at my house!" I wish I had gotten individual pictures of her with each of her guests!

Acknowledgments: This party wouldn't have been possible without the following people's help and support:

• Jason - He funded the party, did some of the shopping, and helped clean the house. Besides all that, he expressed many times how much he admired and appreciated all the work I was putting into this party to make it wonderful for our daughter;
• Venessa - She let us borrow her table and, as always, stepped right in and did what needed to be done to help with the party. Aside from all the help she gave me, my kids just love having Auntie Vee around! Just her mere presence left us full of gratitude (James too!)
• LeaAnne - She also let us borrow a table for the cake decorating. And she was willing and ready to help with whatever needed to be done. Plus, she gave me much-needed moral support thru the preceding week, "You can do it, Cari!" "It will be great!" That helped me keep on keepin' on.
  
• Aunt Dale - What an answer to my prayers! She showed up unexpectedly around 4:00 and I still had *somuch* to get done before the party at 6:00. Dale assembled the kabobs, divvied up the frosting cups, put together the cake boxes, and swept my floors!!! I am so grateful!
  

Discovered Picnik

I always assumed that Picnik wouldn't work on my Mac, since Picasa didn't. I was WRONG! Yay!

Yesterday when we picked Jenalyn up from school she asked if we could go to the hay maze at the farm (Corbin and I went with some friends last week and she was bummed that she missed out). So I shrugged and said why the heck not? So we went. The kids had fun. And I got some awesome pictures to play around Picnik with.

Now I'm sharing them with you!

Preschool = FOUND!

(This sweet face melts my heart.)

So here's the story: Last year Corbin went to the same preschool Jenalyn went to for two years. We loved the teachers and were very happy with the program. However, towards the end of the school year I was approached by one of the teachers and she told me she didn't think they could handle Corbin in their Pre-K class because it tends to be a bigger class, and Corbin requires a lot of supervision (he's a flight-risk when they're out on the playground).

**sigh**

I went home and cried. Is he really so much different than other boys his age?

So I called different preschools throughout the summer and found that they were all too expensive for our budget. I started getting really discouraged and almost decided to start up a co-op type preschool with other mommies in our ward...even though the thought of doing that with a newborn in my not-too-distant-future scared the whits out of me!

Then school started for Jenalyn and Corbin started asking more and more when HE gets to go to school. He was bored staying home with just mommy all day. Especially an achy, no-energy, 8-month pregnant mama!

So I talked to a friend from church and she reminded me of a preschool I hadn't looked into yet. The Teens and Tots program at a local Middle School.

Bonuses:

• They pair each kid up with a middle-schooler --> Corbin gets one-on-one time with a "teacher."
• They have a fenced-in playground --> no more flight-risk
• It costs significantly less than we were anticipating.
• It's 3-days a week for almost 2.5 hours each day --> that's going to be a nice break for me after the baby is born!
  

Class started today. And I called my mommy and cried after I dropped him off. Can you believe that? (1) He's not my first kid to go to school; and (2) This isn't even his first year of preschool - I don't think I cried last year when I dropped him off on his first day.

But he said something that tore at my heart. Not once, not twice, but three times while we were getting ready this morning he asked me, "Do you really think they'll like me, mommy?"

**sobs**

Corbin has a really good sense for knowing if an adult likes him, is annoyed with him, or barely tolerates him. I know he knew that one of the teachers at his last preschool had a particularly hard time with him. And I can always tell when he has a difficult time with teachers (mostly substitutes) in primary. So I believe he was truly, genuinely concerned with whether or not this new preschool would like him. (Oh no! The tears are starting again.)

He's such a sweet boy. I didn't want to leave him there. I wish I could have sat in the corner and just watched. He blew me the biggest, sweetest kisses as I walked out the door. I miss him already! I hope and pray that this will be a good experience for him.

First of First

(She looks so tired in these pictures! Also, she refused any type of barrette or headband in her hair for the first day. *sigh*)

Yesterday was Jenalyn's first day of first grade. When asked what she was most excited about she replied, "I get to eat lunch at the school - and I get to have three recesses!" Also somebody had told her that the first graders get to go to JAPAN. I don't know where that came from, but she was pretty disappointed when I told her that it's the FIFTH graders who go to Japan.

Well, we made it "back to school" but I still have so many anxieties! The English teacher in the school is known for being very stern. And I've also heard that the first graders get slammed with homework. I am not looking forward to that! I don't know how Jenalyn will handle it. I might have to sign her up for the after-school homework club. It's like pulling teeth to get that girl to do homework.

In other news, I still have not found another preschool for Corbin. I'm getting really discouraged, and he's going to start getting so bored, sitting around waiting for sissy to get home!

I'm still relatively new at this stay-at-home-mom gig - what do I do with my 4-year old all day?

A Pineapple

According to my weekly pregnancy email:

33 weeks: Baby weighs as much as a pineapple

Your baby is proportioned like a pineapple when it comes to weight -- a little over 4 pounds. (Length: more than 17 inches, head to heel.)

Four pounds? Really? That's all? You'd think I was sharing my body with a 20-pounder for how uncomfortable I've been. It's sad, really. I walk like a crippled old lady. You would think that carrying around a pineapple would be a piece of cake! No problem, right? So why do my hips and lower back hurt so bad? And we still have 7 weeks to grow...? Oy!

In other news, I made a cute little chore chart for the school year. I'm hoping it will make school mornings go smoother. I added items like making sure your backpack is ready and by the front door, shoes are under the bench where we can easily find them and outfits picked out the night before. I guess it's more of a daily check-list than a chore chart. I'm really happy with how it turned out. I got the idea here.

I added clipart because we're not all reading yet ;) (got the clipart here.) I got the frame at Wal-Mart for just $4 and I had all other supplies on hand. It was such a simple project. I bought some fun dry-erase markers so the kids can cross the items off their list as they complete the task. Then we can erase them the next day and start over again! Yeah!

When I told Jenalyn what I was making she said, "Are you going to turn us into your slaves?" Bwahahaha...yes, that's exactly what I'm doing!

I finally gave in.

Jenalyn has wanted to have her hair cut "just like Alia's" since the beginning of summer. (Alia is a friend from church.) Problem is, I was so very attached to her long hair! So shiny and beautiful! I subscribe to a lot of hair blogs and I love love love fixing her hair. It's one of my favorite pastimes! But, I think she is old enough now that I need to let her find her own style (Within reason. I mean, she also wanted to dye it PINK!)

So I finally set the appointment and she has been counting down the days...with her abacus. The day finally arrived!
I took a ton of "before" pictures - I'll only post one now - she wasn't into it, so she has a goofy, fake smile in all of the pictures.
(*sigh* it's so pretty, right?)

She giggled non-stop while sitting up in the big chair. She was so excited!

The big snip! I might have shed a tear or two. I tried to be brave.

Her...very...last...little-girl-braid...Oh my!

And just like that, it was over:
My baby girl looks all grown up now! Doesn't she? She looks at least 3 years older, I swear! But oooh, I love it. It's so pretty! It lays so nicely and looks so healthy. Looks pretty with a clip too. I can still fix it and play with it, I'm sure. Maybe no more pony tails, but she was getting big for that anyway, right?

After the epic haircut we decided we didn't want to go home yet - so we had a little "mommy-daughter date."

We went shoe shopping (I can cross that off my back-to-school list):
(she also got a really cute pair of black boots.)

And then we went out for ice cream:

Hair salon, shoe shopping, and ice cream. Fun girls' day, right? We thought so!

Back-to-School Anxieties

...for me. Not the kids.

School starts in just over a week. This will be the first year having Jenalyn gone full days. ALL DAY, my sweet girl will be in someone else's care. YIKES! Besides that, Corbin will only be in preschool a couple days a week for a few hours at a time, who is going to entertain him while she's gone? The TV? Probably. *LOL*

It will also be our first year having to get up and out the door first thing in the morning (we did afternoon preschool and kindergarten). I was never on time when I was working...how am I going to get my 6-year-old up and ready and out the door, with the 4-year-old in tow, before 8:30 a.m. ... every morning? And we'll have to add a newborn to the mix in just about 8 weeks!

What if Jenalyn has forgotten everything she learned last year? What if I haven't done a good enough job working with her to keep it all fresh in her head? What if she's behind all the other kids when school starts again? What if she feels like she isn't as smart as the other kids? What if she doesn't make good friends? What if she sits by herself during lunch? What if she comes home crying....

I'll just die.

....AHHH! I'm going to drive myself batty. I have a week to pull myself together. Breathe, Cari. Just breathe.

Aspirations

(It has been a while since I blogged, and it's been even longer since a shared an updated picture of my kids. So here you go. Picture taken 7/4/10.)

I love to listen to my kids' conversations with each other. Today in the car I heard this:

Jenalyn: Corbin, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Corbin: A Tyrannosaurus Rex. And then a Superhero. And then a Paleontologist.

Corbin: What do you want to be when you grow up, Jenalyn?
Jenalyn: A veterinarian.
Corbin: What's a "veggietinarian?"
Jenalyn: They help animals.